SKIP TO CONTENT
We use both our own and third-party cookies for statistical purposes and to improve our services. If you continue to browse, we consider that you accept the use of these.
  • Celebrating 20 Years of Training Excellence 2004-2024

Empathy

Empathy is essential for developing rapport. Empathy is commonly defined as understanding what another person is saying and feeling and communicating that understanding back to them. Empathy means several things:

• The ability to share in another’s emotions or feelings and grasp the emotional content of what the person is saying, without pity or sympathy.

• Effectively communicate that understanding back to them to establish rapport.

• Reflect back the emotional content of what you just heard in understanding tones.
For example, if you are talking to a subject who is describing the aggravation of driving to and from work in heavy traffic, you might respond by saying something like, “That must be very frustrating.” In this brief response, you are letting the subject know that you are listening intently to what he is saying and grasping the emotional content behind his words. This is infinitely more effective than saying something like, “I understand” or “That’s nothing to get upset about.” In this manner, the interviewer is expressing tolerance and possibly even outright rejection of the speaker’s point of view.

According to Stephanie Palmer in her book, Good In A Room:
“The keys to being likable are to be emphatic and interested. Empathy means that you care. You can step into the other person’s shoes, understand her feelings, and share her perspective. Interest means that you’re curious about her; you want to get to know her better. If it is clear to the other person that you care about her and that you are intrigued by her, she will want to spend time with you and will have an easier time trusting you.”

Points to Remember
In The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, Steven Covey suggests that we should “Seek first to understand, and then to be understood.” Most people prefer to express their own point of view first and to talk about themselves. Listening first to the other person requires patience and discipline on the part of the interviewer.

The opposite of talking is LISTENING – listening to another’s side first is difficult. Just as we describe in the 3 Day Interview and Interrogation class, an effective listener also observes the speaker’s response.
You can empathize and grasp a subject’s emotional content without compromising your position, values, or beliefs. When you disagree, maintain a calm, non-judgmental tone of voice.

When we communicate, we tend to filter what people tell us through our own lens or paradigm. Listen with the intent to UNDERSTAND. This is why the interview comes before the interrogation. We are first trying to gather information without confrontation or accusation. Someone is more likely to listen to our point of view after we have given our undivided attention to theirs.

Remember, there is no better way to establish rapport during the interview phase than effectively empathizing with your subject.

  • Instructional style is engaging and highly effective.

    —George Laing, Fire Prevention Captain, Investigator
  • This was, by far and away the best training I have received in 15 plus years of Law Enforcement. The instructors are experienced, engaging, articulate, and very entertaining. I will be recommending this training to multiple agencies.

    —Mark Paynter, Oregon DOC
  • Incredible training with amazing real world instruction. I have been taking law enforcement classes for over 30 years and by far this is the best presented and most useful.

    —Det. Brian Dale, Portland Police Bureau
  • The information presented was highly relevant to my job and was presented in a manner that was organized and very easy to digest.

    —Michael McGarvey, California State Prison, San Quentin
  • This training by far has been the most informative and most effective I've attended. The instructors engaged the students in a manner that made me want to speak my opinion, ask questions, and participate.

    —Julio Ibarra, Merced County Sheriff’s Office
  • Your training has made the greatest and most direct impact on my assignment of any training class that I've taken.

    —Ken Gelskey, National City Police Department
  • I will continue to use and pass on this information because I really believe in the instructors and their approach.

    —Kimberly Meyer, Washoe County Sheriff's Department
  • It not often that you go to a training that you really, really want to pay attention to. Because of the high quality information and style of presentation, I knew that if I looked away I was going to miss out.

    —Quinten Graves, Oregon State Police
  • Effective teaching teams! The presentation of the material was consistently interesting, and intelligent without being too intellectualized.

    —Michele Keller, Deputy Probation Officer, County of Alameda
  • Your training gave me the confidence and tools to interview the suspect for over 5 hours and to bring a closure to the case.

    —Daniel Phelan, San Jose Police Department
  • I highly recommend this training for any Probation staff who have the necessity to interview/interrogate individuals for investigation purposes.

    —R. Bret Fidler, Santa Clara County Probation Department
  • This was, by far, one of the most useful training classes I've attended since becoming an investigator.

    —Steven Aiello, Antioch Police Department
  • This training provided the useful tools necessary for assessing the veracity of a suspected child abuser, which goes a long way in helping to protect children.

    —Sunny Burgan, MSSW, LCSW, Social Work Supervisor, Santa Clara County DFCS